“Which is the most important Jewish holiday?” Many years ago, a friend asked me that question. I believe my friend asked it as Passover approached, but I’m not completely sure; it was years ago. I cannot recall the exact contents of the discussion that ensued, but I believe it went something like this:
ME: Shabbat. Shabbat is by far the most important Jewish holiday. It’s the one mentioned in the Ten Commandments. It’s the one that can be practiced every week. And if it’s practiced every week, it can change a person’s life and a community’s life, too.
FRIEND: Forget about Shabbat. I wasn’t asking about Shabbat. Of the holidays, which do you think is most important?
ME: I’m not sure.
FRIEND: Okay, let me help you. If you had to pick between Passover and the Rosh Hashanah – Yom Kippur cycle, which do you think is most important?
ME: Why should I pick? Why can’t I celebrate both?
FRIEND: Don’t be a smart aleck. Which do you think is most important?
ME: Maybe Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? Feeling like you can repent for your mistakes and begin again are such important things. But then again celebrating human dignity and freedom in our world are such important things, too. I’m not sure how you could choose.
FRIEND: I agree, all of those are important themes … but which holiday do you think is more important?
ME: I don’t know. Which do you think?
FRIEND: To me, it’s Passover. Clearly Passover.
ME: Why?
FRIEND: Because people celebrate Passover at home. The seder is what makes Passover so important. Many congregations hold communal seders, and those are good things, but primarily Passover is a holiday that takes place at home, which is different from a holiday that takes place in a synagogue. You have to make the seder. You have to cook the food. You have to lead the service. You cannot just buy a ticket and show up and watch. When you add the intergenerational quality – children and parents and grandparents and other relatives and friends all doing this together –Passover is clearly more important.
There is, of course, no actual contest between Passover and Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, or between Passover and any other Jewish holiday. It is not one or the other; we can celebrate them all. Further, many of us greatly enjoy communal Passover celebrations, such as Oraynu’s first night seder, which is both powerful and lovely. Still, I draw a lesson from my friend’s view that extends beyond Passover.
Developing a rich Jewish life is not something that can be done to you or done for you. Much like exercising, it is ultimately something each of us must do for ourselves. Of course it helps to have a community – a community can provide support, guidance, and friendship – but in the end each of us must produce our Jewish life, we cannot simply consume a product made by others.
May our seders be sweet and meaningful, and may our world soon come to know human dignity, freedom and peace for all.
Chag Sameach,
Rabbi Jonathan Cohen
Posted March 30, 2025
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